My last blog post was almost exactly one month ago. I don't even know where to begin! It is mind blowing how much can change in a month when you are a parent. I will start with Shelton. He has two teeth, he's not only crawling but he's pulling up and even walking with the assistance of a toy with wheels and he is very active. Ok, that sentence originated from what I really want to say, which is he is teething, he's into everything dangerous and he falls down all the time. Mama is exhausted! The amount of times a day my heart leaps out of my chest and into my throat cannot be healthy. Not to mention the times it sinks down into my stomach. He will pull up onto a wall...and let go. Have I ever mentioned he's exactly like his dad? Fearless. To call him curious would be an understatement. His little eyes squint as he tries to figure everything out. He babbles "Da", "Ba", "Ma" and has recently started babbling a "K" sound. I'm pretty sure one of his first words will be Mickey. He eats cookies and drinks juice. He still gives those sweet kisses only they sometimes turn into little nibbles.
Shane has been working since the day he got home with some three day weekends thrown in. It has been exactly what they said it would be, a transition. Not a hard one or a smooth one. Somewhere in between. He has had to jump right into a schedule not made for him and right into the chaos that is my emotions and hormones. He's still here so he must be transitioning well. I kid. As I write he is listening to the hum of the baby monitor while I lay in bed and take a few minutes to myself. He is heaven sent. I finally broke down and googled postpartum depression today. When Shane had been home for over a month and my anxiety hadn't subsided much I felt like maybe I was suffering from something bigger than me. While I don't think I have postpartum depression, I do think I am and have been for seven months or more, stressed. I can't count the times in my coddled life that I thought I was stressed. Now I know the true meaning of the word. I tend to be the type that carries everyone else's stress along with them. I have, little by little, began to let go of it. There's only so much one person can carry at a time. Every day I let go a little more and I can see the changes it makes in me. It's making me...me.
Our family has so many things to look forward to this summer. Number one...a kiddie pool. Ok, so it's not number one but it's not far down the list. I have been looking for a good excuse to get one for years. Shane Shane is officially off work for three weeks, Shelton's bottom front teeth have come in and I'm blogging again. Looks like we're all getting a little break from the stresses of life. Shane is the angel on my shoulder that whispers, "It could be a lot worse." Told you he was heaven sent. Here's to letting go of things and holding on tight to others...
